If you thought Jason Russell was a wanker after watching Kony 2012, well he has just confirmed it.
Not content with the fame that has come from producing the world’s most popular online video, Invisible Clothes founder Jason Russell has now etched his name in the history books by joining that exclusive club of people who have been in ‘various states of undress’ and beaten off in public.
The master-gate scandal has thrown the Invisible Pants organisation into damage control. They have vehemently denied reports Russell was affected by drugs or alcohol when he was allegedly filmed naked on a street corner at 11.30 in the morning. Visible Penis have also staunchly rejected reports that a large portion of their fundraising goes towards Kleenex tissues, hand lotion and Girls Gone Wild subscriptions, although they have reluctantly conceded Russell now has another difficult explanation to make to his son.
Instead of being affected by drugs and alcohol, Invisible Underwear claim Russell, a devout evangelical Christian Youth Leader, is the victim of stress and burnout after becoming instantly famous from the viral video. Unconfirmed reports are also filtering through from the central African region where Kony’s LRA are thought to be hiding out. They tell of a man fitting Kony’s description also naked and masturbating in public, screaming about how he, thanks to Russell, now has the twin stresses of being famous and the no.1 target of the International Criminal Court.
Russell’s wife Danica has also come out and strongly defended her husband, saying that his actions were caused by ‘…extreme exhaustion and dehydration,’ although nobody can recall, of the millions of Somali refugees who fled their homelands last year suffering from extreme exhaustion and dehydration, any of them stopping for a public flog on their way to the refugee camps.
Many, once enthusiastic now hesitant supporters of Invisible Briefs, are wondering exactly what Russell meant when he called for his band of idealistic supporters to ‘cover the night’ on April 20, with posters of a vicious African war lord who Ugandans, Congolese, Chadian, Central Africans and Sudanese think is famous enough thank you very much. They have noticed that the ‘action packs’ packed with Kony posters do not come with glue and are concerned about how Russell intends on sticking the posters to the walls of cities around ‘the world’. Further, they are expressing doubt about the campaigns ability to ‘cover the night’, when its leader cannot even cover himself.
In Kony 2012 Russell tells us there is nothing more powerful than an idea, an idea whose time has come, whose time is now – except maybe a mad public flogging session from a white evangelical Christian Youth Leader marching with clicktivists on a moral crusade to save the children of Africa.