Footy is back for 2012 and with it some new sights including Robocop goal umpires, the GWS Giants and Ross Lyon in purple. As they say though, the more things change the more they stay the same and despite the recent retirements of Cameron Ling, Barry Hall, Jason Akermanis and Max Rooke there are still plenty of rough heads running around.
As a fresh faced, excited 18 year old draftee of the Adelaide Crows in 2004 Ivan Maric left his native Victoria a clean cut respectable young man any girl would surely be confident to bring home and meet her parents.
After seven years with the Crows Maric returned to Melbourne as Richmond’s number one ruckman and is displaying the indisputable health effects of many years living in the city of churches, with this classic Bogan mullet.
Thankfully the dreadful 80’s fashion revival has now ended, although with the 90’s back in vogue, do we really want to relive the Billy Ray Cyrus look?
Not content with being the Rising Star winner of 2011, Essendon young gun Dyson Heppell has his sights set on a bigger prize this year – out tool-ing Collingwood’s Dale Thomas in the haircut stakes. And with the Collingwood star finally coming to his senses in the off season and shaving off his mop top, Heppell is now the unbackable favourite to add biggest tool haircut to his trophy cabinet.
If life was not hard enough for young Taylor Walker being born without a first name, he was then drafted to the Adelaide Crows (from NSW) and is now suffering from the same strain of Mulletitis that Ivan Maric succumbed to.
Initially young Taylor seemed immune to the disease however in 2012 he has been seen sporting a soft-Mohawk-mullet combination, clearly suffering from the long term effects of living in South Australia.
Doctors insist the only hope is for Taylor Walker to move interstate and while he is at it correct his parents mistake and adopt a first name as well as investing in a mirror.
Round 1 Power debutant Chad Wingard has clearly adapted to what it means to be a Port Adelaide player with a classic white trash fringe / shaved head combination. An exciting debut in the Bogan hairstyle stakes.
Doing his best impression of a pineapple Carlton star Bryce Gibbs celebrates the Blues’ round one bye with Coach Brett Ratten.
Essendon midfielder Courtney Dempsey spent most of last season on the sidelines with what was reportedly a knee injury, although many are now wondering if in fact it was his wrist which was damaged, due to the massive birds nest now attached to his face. Dempsey has returned to the Essendon side in 2012 with such ferocious attack on the ball, hardness and dedication his team mates have now dubbed him the ‘suicide’ Bomber.
Unhappy with the constant media focus on his cousin Nick, Jack Riewoldt has upped the ante this year with his cockatoo inspired haircut, which was on display to the entire football world in Richmond’s annual over hyped opening round loss to Carlton. Despite enthusiastic support from Australian fashion guru Alex Perry, Riewoldt’s partially shaved crown and blonde crest has drawn sharp criticism from many Richmond fans, who see him a leader in the club. Perhaps the most detailed critique was from this fan at the MCG on Thursday night, ‘Last year we had Dustin Martin with his silly tuft and Ben Nason’s ridiculous dreadlocks, they both matured in the off season, now we Ivan Maric, who I suppose we can offer a grace period to since he came from Adelaide, but Jack, seriously what were you thinking? Commit to one hairstyle and complete it, don’t have a bit each way,’
Well this one is self explanatory really…