Metro Trains is currently searching for the right people to join our friendly customer services team.
As a Metro Trains ‘Customer Services Officer’ you will be on the ‘frontline’ of our operations. You will ‘interact’ daily with the general public, ensuring their trips on our dynamic and robust Melbourne public transport system are unforgettable and that every paying customer is kept safe.
Metro Trains is an equal opportunity employer, which means that we do not focus too much on things like ‘qualifications,’ ‘skills’ and ‘experience’ and we don’t discriminate against butch power-lifting man-hating lesbians from joining our team, furthermore we offer ‘competitive’ salaries, ‘flexible’ work structures and a range of training and development courses.
Applying to join Metro Trains is just so easy.
Academic qualifications are not a barrier to joining Metro Trains. You can join Metro Trains straight from secondary school, in fact, even if you never finished secondary school you are welcome to apply. At Metro Trains we don’t require any fancy tags like ‘Degree’ or ‘Masters’ or ‘Bachelor,’ all that matters is that you have the right attitude and willingness to be indoctrinated, er, we mean learn.
At Metro Trains our rigorous training program ensures that within only a few months you will be able to bench-press your only body weight, even if you have no prior body building experience. We also offer discounted rates on many styles of tattoos including barbed wire and ‘tribal’ armbands, southern crosses and your child’s name and birth date, in a range of languages. Finally, we offer free haircuts each month, to ensure your scalp remains shiny and intimidating.
At Metro Trains our exciting ‘personal development’ programs will give you the skills to not only defend yourself in times of need, but to execute body slams, headlocks and pressure point grips on everyone from the elderly to drunks and even teenage girls. This will provide you with the skills to work in a range of other public service sectors like prisons, asylum seekers detention centres and sporting events.
So if you are bored of sitting at home all day playing Grand Theft Auto, watching reruns of The Fast and the Furious, drinking Jim Beam, smoking bongs and jerking off to Girls Gone Wild videos, then we want you to join us!
Visit our website today to find out how!