The Black Rhino, Chinese Panda, African Mountain Gorilla, Sea Turtles and now, kale.
That’s right, the up until recently, largely unheard of green leafy vegetable, is now officially an endangered species.
This month the World Wildlife Fund released its annual list of newly endangered species and for the first time ever has listed a vegetable.
In the past several years the ‘super food’ movement has exploded, with kale leading the way. Kale consumption has soared ever since, due largely to the concurrent rise of inner city dwellers known as hipsters. Identified by their skinny jeans, beards and oversize glasses, hipsters have been eating kale in, ironically, such unsustainable quantities that it has now become endangered.
In response to the overconsumption of kale the WWF has ordered the production of hipster kale products including kale shakes, kale lattes, kale biscuits and kale macaroons to be slowed dramatically.
Predictably the reaction to this news has come via social media, with hipsters from New York to Berlin and Melbourne tweeting, instagramming and tumbling their displeasure, using the hashtags #bringbackourkale #kalenotwhales and uploading pictures of their favourite kale recipes and #kalememories.
The hipster movement has also found an ally in the medical fraternity, who have argued that in order for hipsters to survive in their natural environment they require a varied hipster diet, of which kale is a large part.
Medical experts have warned that quinoa, pumpkin seeds, kim chi and macaroons, washed down with craft beer, is not adequate to sustain a healthy hipster diet and that without kale the hipster population may die off.
However, nobody has been able to mount an argument as to why this would be a bad thing.