Millions of French citizens, who this week rushed to buy an estimated five million copies of the latest Charlie Hebdo magazine, have quickly discovered why they have never bought it before.

With regular sales of around 60,000, there has been a national and international stampede to buy the ‘survivors issue,’ not since the final edition of the News of the World in 2011 has there been such interest in a single edition of a newspaper. However, after handing over their €3 and pausing dramatically to absorb the front cover, many readers have since felt confused and deflated.

‘Really?’ begins Pierre Yoplait of Lyon, ‘zis iz it? I sought zis Charlie Hebdo was, how you say, satire? Zis is not satire! I have seen deeper political messajez in episodes of dat, aah, Ren & Stimpy, you know? Zis iz, how you say, smutty, no?’

A selection of past Charlie Hebdo covers
A selection of past Charlie Hebdo covers

His view was echoed by many across the nation. Brigette Éylsées of Paris works in the same district as the Charlie Hebdo office, ‘No no no, zis iz not so good. Where iz ze fold-in on ze last page? What iz zis Charlie Hebdo? Iz not funny, what iz ze messej, eh? Zis iz not my free speech, I don fight for zis.’

Readers have of course taken to social media to vent their frustration, with the hashtag #jesuisdisappointed and #jesuisnotamused being the most popular.

Sales of the magazine are expected to fall by the month, corresponding with the public’s interest and attention span.