Saving for that new car?  Bills piling up?  Trying to smuggle your family to safety across the ocean?  Whatever it is you’re saving for Philip Ruddock MP financial services is available 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to offer you the best advice to save you money ‘in the long term.’

Kids

Kids, they’re cute, cuddly and say all sorts of wacky, zany things, but let’s be honest, they cost a shitload of money to raise.  And it’s not like they appreciate, like property or stocks, all that money is just gone – think of all the KFC you could have bought over the years.

Philip Ruddock MP advises that children should be put to work as soon as possible.  After all, what better way to teach your children to count than on an assembly line?  Sign up today with one of Philip Ruddock’s international exchange programs and your child could be learning new skills in Dhaka, Addis Ababa or Manila.  It may at first seem ‘inappropriate,’ but don’t worry thousands of kids already do it and it’ll be financially worth it, ‘in the long term.’

Mortgage stress

It’s never been more expensive to buy a house and even with the carbon tax dead, buried and cremated, those bills, school fees and credit card debts just keep piling up and up.  If you aren’t one of the sensible people who went out and got a good job that pays good money, then what better way to offset those expenses than to rob people?

Philip Ruddock MP services offer 1, 2 or 3 day courses in extortion, weapons training and victim identification.  But wait, ‘Is this legal?’ I hear you ask.  Never mind that, here have a chocolate biscuit, in fact, have two.  By robbing people to pay your bills and living expenses you will be financially better off, ‘in the long term’ and that’s a fact.

I’m burnt out, I need a holiday

The 9 – 5 daily grind, those awful wind turbines and pressures of modern living can really wear you out.  At Philip Ruddock MP services we understand your situation and are here to help.  Sign up today to our Indonesian holiday packages and you could win $5,000 on one of our ‘mystery boat cruises.’

The Granny Problem

With an aging population, this predicament is only going to come up more and more.  What does the family do when grandma and grandpa finally lose all their marbles, have no control of their bladders and are unable to live independently?  Let’s face it, retirement homes are expensive, replacement hips are costly and in-home carers, well, with the price of lattes who can afford them?

Philip Ruddock MP financial services offer unique and sensitive programs which can take care of this problem at a competitive market rate.  Sign up today to our ‘Neater by Nitschke’ package and start saving big bucks, ‘in the long run.’

Mention this ad for a 5% discount.

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