Following the governments new citizenship legislation, not only are the terrorists in Syria and Iraq now filled with a deep sense of regret, but others, still here in Australia could also lose their citizenship. The question now is – how safe is your citizenship? Take this quick & easy quiz to find out.
How much do you love Australia?
a) Ten flags worth
b) I wish I could have a double Australian citizenship!
c) Enough to have a Southern Cross tattoo
d) Warnie for PM!
e) I love this country, although the government is not doing enough to tackle serious issues such as domestic violence, financial inequality, indigenous health & education and, with bipartisan support, detains asylum seeker children in offshore detention centres
What is the biggest threat to Australia today?
a) ISIS, terrorism, halal and the whole damn country of Islam
b) Q and A & the lefty lynch mob disguised as the ABC
c) Boat people
d) Wind turbines
e) Unsustainably high house prices, mandatory meta-data collection, domestic violence (which kills more people than terrorism), growing wage inequality, the laws on whistleblowers and climate change
What makes Tony Abbott the best PM we have ever had?
a) He stopped to boats, by hook or by crook
b) He scrapped the carbon tax and mining tax
c) He’s getting the budget back on track
d) He’s just a good honest bloke havin’ a go
e) In the words of every government minister, ‘I disagree with the premise of your question’
The next person to be knighted should be:
a) Scott Morrison, because he stopped the boats
b) Peter Dutton, because he’s keeping them stopped
c) Philip Ruddock, because he stopped the boats first time round
d) Bronwyn Bishop, in the spirit of equal opportunity
e) I find it incredible that in this day and age we have knights and dames, what a joke and embarrassment to our country
Australia’s motto should be:
a) Australia: Fair dinkum since 1788
b) Australia: No terrorists allowed
c) Aussieland: Bring back the biff
d) Straya mate: Love it or leave
e) We shouldn’t have a motto, we’re a country not a brand
If I was PM for a day I would introduce this law:
a) If you’ve ever been to Syria or Iraq, except with the Australian army, you’re out
b) No more halal food, integrate mate, this ain’t Jordanistan or whatever
c) Change the colour of the Senate to gold, so our Parliament is green & gold
d) Footy season goes for 12 months – and cricket season too!
e) The end of mandatory detention and offshore processing of asylum seekers, legalise marriage equality, find a way to fund Gonski & the NDIS and legalise marijuana too
Complete this sentence, ‘There is nothing more Aussie than…’
a) Keeping our borders secure and our terrorists far away
b) Sinkin’ piss on the beach on Australia Day and doing impressions of the 12th man doing impressions of Riche Benaud
c) Zinc on your cheeks and wearing an Australian flag as a cape
d) Having the right to be a bigot
e) The separation of powers, transparency in government, the rule of law, due process, equal opportunity and respect for international law and human rights
Mostly A’s – Mate, pull up a stool, crack a stubby and gimme five, you should be awarded an OAM right now. Give yourself a pat on the back cobber, you know what’s right for this country and we can count on you to do your darndest to protect it from those who want to change it and destroy our way of life. You’re Aussie through and through, a fully-fledged member of Team Australia and you trust your government to do what’s best, goodonya.
Mostly B’s, C’s & D’s – You really are a top bloke, a little digger, honest battler and I reckon you’re pretty fair dinkum too. Keep up the good work bloke, with a little more elbow grease you could sub off the bench to become a real player in this team we call Australia.
Mostly E’s – You hate Australia, don’t you! I bet you’re one of those latte sipping inner city lefty Green voters, who reads the Guardian online, watches and tweets to QandA and if it was up to you our borders would be flung open and we would be flooded with refugees – and terrorists would be roaming the streets, in between wind turbines, solar panels and gay married people. You disgust me, bugger off to New Zealand.
Well, how did you go..?