80,833 people marched into the MCG for the newest local derby – Melbourne Stars vs Melbourne Renegades in the T20 cricket.
It was a crowd nobody could anticipate and the newly constructed ‘security fences’ did not cope. Queues snaked into the car parks and across the terraces. Frustrated parents struggled with their impatient children, whose attention spans are ideal for this NEW PRODUCT, but not for the wait. Ironically, in the stadiums attempt to improve crowd safety, they inadvertently created large crowds of people, the perfect target for any supposed enemies.
Nevertheless, the party soon began and then did not stop for the next 3 ½ hours.
Somewhere between a game show, a dance party without the drugs and a travelling carnival, the crowd was encouraged to as manic as possible for as long as possible – slap your plastic ‘BOOM BOOM’ sticks, clap and stomp to Queen’s ‘We Will Rock You,’ put KFC buckets on your head and DANCE – hell, even throw some beach balls around! Cooee! Cooee! Waaay-o! Waaay-o! DON’T STOP – dance and sing to the music played between each over, each ball, look up there – its DANCE-CAM and YOU might be on it and YOU might win some MONEY! Look, it’s the seagull mascot and he’s on the big screen. Four! Six! Flames! Fireworks! LOOK! Cheer now, NOW! Do the Mexican wave. Cooee! Cooee! Waaay-o! Waaay-o! Half time – no time for a break, we have these LUCKY WINNERS from the crowd – can he hit the wickets for $10,000?! Oh, he just missed, what’s next? Can these guys catch some balls and win MONEY?! They did! OK now double or NOTHING? What do you think crowd? Yeay, he did it!!! Now look over here, who will win the dash for CASH?! Oh, she fell over, they won, here’s some MONEY. Wait, don’t go anywhere, you have to watch because next time IT COULD BE YOU! Look up there on the BIGSCREEN it’s the watermelon kid – and now he’s famous on Twitter!!! Cooee! Cooee! Waaay-o! Waaay-o! Four! Six! Wicket! FLAMES! FIREWORKS!!!
The game is over.
Melbourne Stars win. Yes, amongst it all there was a sporting contest.