The Australian Medical Association, Lifeline and Beyond Blue have all reacted with surprise at the previously unknown abundance of mental health experts residing quietly in Australia’s suburbs.

Media commentator and Demon great Garry Lyon publicised his battle with depression on the weekend and stood down indefinitely from his media commitments.  The disclosure came only days before the expose that he had been sleeping with his best mate’s former wife.

Since the story hit the headlines, led by the upstanding and award winning bastion of Australia journalism the Herald Sun, the nation’s plethora of mental health experts have flooded the airwaves with their opinions, diagnoses and proposed treatments.

The timing of the twin revelations has caused many of the experts, who have generously taken time out from their busy schedules to call SEN, 3AW and Triple M, to question the validity of the claims, believing that Lyon does not suffer from any condition except betrayal.

While the experts assure a nervous public they have the situation under control, some amateur hooligans have suggested consideration, support and a pause before judgement.  Of the more outlandish propositions, some have requested that the discussions be left to ‘mental health practitioners’ and a mysterious group of people called ‘doctors.’  Though as Ross from Burwood quaintly assessed, ‘I think we all know what’s happened here with Gazza and Billy’s ex-Missus.’

The Australian government has also stepped in, announcing plans to draw up a list of the newly discovered mental health experts, so that their invaluable skills can be used to improve the care of asylum seekers on Nauru, refugees fleeing Syria, or assist the 1 in 6 Australians who will suffer from depression in their lifetime and over 2,000 people who die by suicide each year.

Former mates Lyon and Brownless
Former mates Lyon and Brownless