Former Australian Idol host James Mathison, who shot to fame in 2003 and has done nothing of any great significance for the past decade has announced plans to take on former Prime Minister Tony Abbott in the seat of Waringah.

Facing a lifetime of bit parts on morning breakfast television and the occasional spot on Bert Newton’s 20 to 1, Mathison has reportedly been inspired by other former B grade TV ‘personalities’ turned politicians Donald Trump, Jesse Ventura and Ronald Regan.

So will Mathison’s recent experience as a contestant on ‘The Celebrity Apprentice Australia’ see him emulate the show’s creator?  Let’s take a look…

Popularity

Tony Abbott was elected to the seat of Waringah in 1994 and has held it comfortably ever since.  With 54,388 votes (roughly 60%) in the 2013 election Abbott was voted in as Australia’s 28th Prime Minister.

In 2001 Mathison finished second in Channel Ten’s $20 Challenge which included busking on the streets of London.  Soon after made it to the final 8 in Channel V’s reporter search and was eventually offered a position as ‘video journalist.’

Policies

Tony Abbott likes… the 1950’s, God, white people, eating onions, knights and dames, helicopter rides, threatening Vladimir Putin, winking, waiting until marriage, sex appeal, housewives doing the ironing, the phrase ‘dead, buried and cremated’ and Kevin Andrews.

Tony Abbott dislikes… the carbon tax, boats, Julia Gillard, Muslims, gay people, polls, acknowledging climate change, the ‘death cult,’ the ABC, tact and Malcolm Turnbull.

Tony Abbott's message to James Mathison
Tony Abbott’s message to James Mathison

James Mathison likes… being James Mathison, being on TV, fame, same sex marriage, climate change (kinda) activism, people talking about James Mathison, Channel Ten, hair gel, mirrors, Andrew G, Andrew G talking about James Mathison and the hashtag #TimesUpTony.

James Mathison dislikes… people not talking about James Mathison, getting mistaken for Andrew G, being referred as ‘the former host of Australian Idol,’ being reminded of ‘Wake Up’ and sometimes, Andrew G.

Staying power

Abbott was responsible for several government ministries from 1998 – 2007, most notably the ministry of health and ageing, 2003 – 07.  He became Leader of the Opposition in 2009 (by 1 vote) and was voted PM in 2013.

Mathison hosted Australian Idol with Andrew G from 2003 – 09.  Following his departure he appeared sporadically on the 7PM Project and Weekend Sunrise.  In July 2013 ‘Matho’ became host of Channel Ten’s morning show Wake Up, which ran a remarkably similar course to Abbott’s Prime Ministership and in May 2014 was axed amidst a bitter cloud of disappointment.

Wake Up presenters Natarsha Belling and James Mathison in front of a live audience
Wake Up hosts Natarsha Belling and James Mathison in front of a live audience

Why should I vote for him?

Tony Abbott… well, there’s really no good reason to vote for him.  He’s finished as a politician and even if the Coalition lost most of its senior members to an illicit drugs scandal its highly unlikely Abbott would return as captain.  Its best to relive all those classic Abbott moments on YouTube, because he ain’t coming back.

James Mathison… well, there’s really no good reason to vote for him either.  His claim that all he has to do is best ‘less shit the other guy’ doesn’t sit well when you look back on his career – he was more shit than Andrew G, his breakfast TV show was more shit than 3 others, he was at least more shit than 1 other person on the $20 challenge was last year defeated by the extremely shit Sophie Monk in Celebrity Apprentice Australia.  Would he even be ‘less shit’ than Tony Abbott?

Vote 1 Marc Giordano of the Science Party!

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